Saturday morning, I woke up not as hungover as I expected. As it was my last weekend in town, Mom and I had to run errands and pick up a few last-minute apartment things to put in my car for me to take back to Denver (8 days) so I could live normally.
Mom said she wouldn't be ready for an hour and a half, so being awake and all, I decided it would be a good idea to cook breakfast! Now I've really never learned to cook before in my life, and, being as in approximately 9 days I will be living by myself in an apartment with no one to cook for me, I've taken it upon myself this summer to learn. One thing I enjoy eating are breakfast scrambles, so I decide to make one.
Last time I attempted one, I didn't cook the potatoes enough, so they turned out cold and crunchy and awkward-tasting. So I was sure to thoroughly cook the potatoes and onions before adding the eggs and other vegetables that need less cooking.
I chopped up other vegetables that I thought would go well - one in particular was a red bell pepper that was in a bag of vegetables my aunt had brought over from her garden. I picked out all the seeds and chopped it up and when it was time to add it in, dumped it in with the eggs and whatnot and finished the scramble.
As everything was finally getting cooked, I felt a slight burning sensation on my lip. Suddenly, it spread, so I itched my face thinking it was just an itch but then my cheeks started burning, so I tried to wipe it away and before I knew it my face was on fire. When I say on fire, I don't mean normal just-spent-too-much-time-in-the-sun-and-now-I'm-a-lobster fire, I mean I thought I was going to die. I tried to suck it up and just eat the scramble I'd worked so hard on, but it progressively got worse. When I took a bite of the bell pepper I had put in, I realized that it wasn't a bell pepper- it was a chili pepper (most likely a product of Satan).
This is what it felt like:
I ran around the house trying to figure out what to do. Mom was in the shower and Dad wasn't home so I was on my own. I drank some milk, and rubbed some on my face thinking it would help.
It helped for about 2 seconds.
I washed my face, which helped for another 2 seconds before it started burning again.
Finally I found a bottle of aloe in my room, stashed on a shelf with sunscreen and other vacation-ey items and smeared about 2 handfuls of that on my face. That finally helped slightly more sufficiently, but I seriously looked like a sunburnt lobster and had to use ample amounts of makeup to cover it up since I had a work event in a few hours and didn't want my co-workers to think I was any more of a flake than I already am.
Mom and I ran errands and I refrained from telling her about the disaster that happened while she was showering.
Later that afternoon, I got dropped off downtown because I had to work an event for my summer internship, which is with the Minnesota Timberwolves (yes I am cool like that). I went into the office and collected everything we needed ~ giveaways, directions to the parade route, and my co-workers phone numbers just in case.
Part of this process was picking up the van that we would have to drive through the parade. I got picked up in front of the Target Center and we drove the 10 minutes out of the city to the sketchy parking lot where they store the new van because it doesn't fit in any of the parking garages downtown. (I seriously think this lot is used for storing our van, a party bus and drug deals involving pounds and pounds of blow).
We get to the lot and had been chipperly catching up on life when I realized I had forgotten something very important ~ the key to the van.
We were already running late, we were supposed to have left the lot at noon, and it was approximately 12:20pm. We had to be in Moundsview at 12:30pm, which is probably another half an hour drive away from where we were.
We gunned it back into the city, and I ran back to the office and grabbed the key, and we drove all the way back to the lot, finally hitting the road to the event at 1:00pm, the time the parade was set to begin.
There was also a third intern working this particular parade, who was planning on meeting us at the route because she commutes from Mankato (which is about 2 hours from the city) and thought it would be easier. But for God-knows-WHAT reason she decided to leave her house without directions and assumed we would know the area in which the parade was at (which neither of us did) and called us asking in the most whiney voice possible where she was supposed to go. I texted her the directions, but somehow they weren't clear and as we were trying to figure out where we were going (which is hard with the amount of construction that is currently happening in Minneapolis) I had to figure out where she was. Did I mention I am not familiar with Moundsview and I am also directionally retarded? Yeah, she was a pain in the ass.
Finally, as my co-worker is gunning the 10-ton van down 35-W and nearly killing us a half a million times, we see our exit coming up in 3 3/4 miles. Mankato-chick called me back for the umpteenth time, asking if it was Highway 10 or County Road 10 we had to take. My directions said "County Highway 10" because apparently our supervisor didn't read closely and didn't know Moundsview either. I told her I didn't know and the directions had a typo and she'd have to stop at a gas station to ask for directions ~ which apparently was beneath her so she whined to me and asked if I could look it up (because obviously I had the ability to do that at the time).
We finally get her to the parade route and tell her to ask someone if we can still sneak in the back of the parade, since we'd missed our #22 spot and would probably only be able to make it in the end. Thankfully Moundsview people are friendly and let us slip in, and when we pulled up with the van Mankato informs us that she's feeling antisocial and wants to drive the van through the route.
We let her so we wouldn't have to deal with her if she was locked up in the van.
Through the entire six blocks of the parade, my face was still burning from hot chili pepper juice.
And that's how I successfully failed Saturday.
Update: After the parade I got dropped off downtown where I met my Mom for a late lunch (needless to say I didn't eat the scramble and was starving by now) and had one simple task - drop the van key off in the office, which I forgot to do and didn't realize until this morning when my supervisors called me asking where the key was and I had to pay $20 to have it couriered from my one internship to their offices downtown.
Stoner Avenue in Los Angeles, California. Hey, I think we've all figured out California's a pretty, um, green state anyway. 
